Throughout all societies boys have been told to hide their emotions especially when they are sad. Being told that crying is ‘weak and soft’ and that men are supposed to be tough and strong. Take a look around you today and you will see boys living this out exactly as they were told to by many forces such as parents, school and media. Boys put on a facade that they’re strong, tough, happy and that nothing will ever affect them. However, if you look into their eyes you will see that they are broken and weak inside. There is quite often a little child in there who is told that crying is weak. Hence the trapped emotion. Given the way our subconscious minds work, (recording 11 million pieces of information per second and scanning for the most repetitive content to act out) if you are repeatedly told that crying is weak etc as a child, you will act that out as you get older and that trapped emotion will remain trapped until you bring it up to the surface and deal with it. This is why there are so many broken boys around today who watch porn, drink alcohol, eat junk food, play video games, dress up as their favourite superhero or sports star and binge watch tv. Because that trapped sadness, anger, resentment, bitterness is still there deep inside and it is trapped deep within the body. All you do is numb and avoid ever having to go back and face that emotion or that child/s… Over time, these trapped emotions wreak havoc on our central nervous system causing a whole range of illnesses and ailments we see that are very common in the world today such as cancer… If you look into the work of Paul Leendertse Author of “The Root Cause Of Cancer” (https://www.wheeloflifeacademy.com) you will see the direct correlation between trapped emotions and cancer. I interviewed Paul a while back on my podcast. You can check that out here… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQJgH6urIdY&t=3053s
Boys, it’s safe to go back there and deal with those trapped and suppressed emotions. It's safe to cry.
Crying for me was something I only did when a relative or someone close to me had crossed over. I was very much someone who would numb and suppress my pain, emotions and trauma through the wide range of chemicals and habits on offer. I avoided going back into my dark places for a very long time. I used porn, alcohol, sex and TV, as what I deemed safe and comfortable mechanisms to avoid, numb and sedate. I quit all of those chemicals and habits and I started going deep within myself. I went to the dark places that existed within. From my traumas, to my lack of belief in myself, to why I was scared of love, why I was a prick, why I was sleeping with women and never wanting anything more, what my fears were, why I was sabotaging myself, sabotaging anything good in my life and destroying my potential and why I was suppressing my pain and tears. From this, I went back to that little boy who was told he was never worthy of anything good in his life. That little boy who was told that he should stop writing about sport and write what everyone in the class was writing which was boring and it didn’t give me meaning, it didn’t give me purpose or drive. I complied with that and my writing ability was instantly shunted. I put that block there because I subconsciously deemed myself and my work as ‘unworthy.’ Boys, I went back to that little child and sat with him in those exact moments and I told little Nath, “you are worthy. I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you, I value you, I respect you and most importantly I love you. I am you, you are me and we are one.” I reparented that child in the moment and I stood before it a cleaner, healthier and stronger version of myself and showed it another way. Furthermore, I showed it that the story I told myself can be rewritten. I can flip the script and show it the way of health, worthiness, abundance, belief, prosperity, freedom and most importantly love. Boys, it opened the floodgates as they say. Tears were flowing like no tomorrow. I found myself in the fetal position on the floor of my bedroom letting it all out. I would be crying during meditations, while I was working out pretty much anywhere.. I also found myself in the car driving around and a song would come on from when I was a child and then boom more tears. I am crying right now writing this blog. I now allow myself the time and the space to cry whatever it is out. I have deemed myself safe and worthy to cry. This is extremely powerful. I have now since found my inner strength, my inner self love, self confidence and my worthiness again (hence writing this blog).
Crying is powerful, it's strong, it's healing, it's courageous and it shows a vulnerability which is safe. It is not weak, quite often after a good cry you will feel so much better inside and out. You will begin to look at yourself, others and the world differently. It will open you up to the endless possibilities that you once never knew existed. Stop running, stop sedating, stop avoiding, and sit with yourself and go deep within. Let the tears flow and sit with your inner child. It’s safe. I see you, I hear you, I appreciate you, I acknowledge you and most importantly I love you.
If you would like to know more please do not hesitate to reach out. I am always here for you. Let's have a conversation..
Thank you for reading,
Nathan Francis: Youth - Self Sabotage Mentor/Coach.
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Real Boys Cry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTMNWiIurOM
Why Big Boys Don’t Cry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLWEr_kdXl4