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Here's How YOU Are Holding Yourself Back:

In modern society today there is a short term fix for every facet of our lives physically, emotionally, mentally, financially etc. Ranging from toxic medication, surgery, loans, supplements, stapled gut, liposuction, the next piece of advertised rubbish gym equipment that will help you lose weight in days… None of these work and they never will. On and on these bullshit short term fixes go to ensure society is conditioned to avoid ‘hard work, pain, a long day and striving for something long term.’ This ensures you stay weak, lazy, stuck and in the short term thinking.. There is nothing better than going through the short term pain which you know will reap benefits in the long term. Perhaps it's a goal, vision, 12 month plan etc. For example, let's look at working out at a gym. How many people buy a gym membership and only go a handful of times then stop? Then look at how many people even go at all? You might be asking yourself right now why this is the case. Your subconscious (part of your brain) wants you to seek safety and be safe in the most familiar tribe that you were exposed to as a child. That could be a tribe full of drunks, a tribe who never rise up to their fullest potential, an unhealthy tribe, a gossip tribe or a broke tribe etc… Let me explain, there is a program going on inside your subconscious mind without your conscious awareness that if you were to rise up, become better, stronger and healthier this then sends off signals through your nervous system where these big changes become uncomfortable and unfamiliar to what you were used to or exposed to. At this point, this is where you stop and quit.. If your tribe aren’t in shape and working out taking care of themselves you’ll be the odd one out, the different one and that’s a very uncomfortable place for the majority of society to be. There are ways to overcome this however it requires some short term pain where you will need resilience, discipline, patience and hard work.


This may be hard for some people to read… But the truth is the short term pain required to overcome any barrier or road block stopping you from reaching your full potential is staring back at you in the mirror. Yes that's correct it is you. Not the government, your parents, whoever ‘they’ are, the ruling elite, your friends whatever it is… You are holding yourself back from becoming better and having all of your dreams come to fruition. But what's holding people back you’re asking yourself? Well, it's the hard work on themselves to recognise these patterns of behaviour, the discipline required to set up camp for the long haul and understand there is no short term quick fix and that you may not get results on whatever it is right here and now. Furthermore, it is also the resilience required to keep going when it gets hard. We know people that once things get to a certain point they give up and quit ... .Face yourself all of it, the good, bad, ugly and you will see results in every facet of your life. I was one of those people who either quit or ran away when things got hard for the majority of my life.


For me, I was always running away from myself, my pain, my darkness or anything that was testing me. I have often spoken about what I was doing to avoid it. Casual sex, drinking, porn and constant distraction such as sport, technology etc. Once I was able to quit all those habits to then sit down with myself and allow all of the pain and emotions in I was then able to transform and move forward. Here's another part of my story which I am ready to share that has come up for me to face over the past 4-5 weeks since I have been back at the gym… When I was 16-18 years young I was going to the gym regularly with a buddy from high school. As most boys at that age I wanted to become bigger physically not for myself but for girls... I set myself some goals to achieve within 6 - 12 months. I was lifting 3-4 times a week and I felt I was working pretty hard.. However, I did not see results and my physique was relatively the same as it was prior to starting. So I gave up and quit. I Never went back. All the way up until the last 5-6 weeks a really close friend of mine has a home gym set up. I have been regularly going at 5am 4 days a week to lift with a meditation rest day in between. Let me tell you, those demons from the 16-18 year old Nath came up and they came hard. The demons of pushing through my pain barrier, the hard work required to stick this out and see results over time and not right now and everything in between.. However, being in a place now where I take care of my body and nurture it with beautiful organic real food, real organic protein and proper hydration. I am seeing results but they are small… However it is still more than last time where I saw none. I have since learnt that the 16- 18 year old version of me was not taking care of his vessel. I wasn’t drinking alcohol, but I was filling my body with shit food, sugary drinks, late nights, toxic Whey Protein and terrible water. Of course I was never going to meet my goals, I was young, naive and still learning… Having since gone back to the gym it has tested me on all levels physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I faced that younger version of me who quit and said he would never go back. I showed him another way. I allowed him to feel safe, loved and secure, becoming the best, strongest and healthiest version of himself. Yes there are some mornings where it's far too cold and I have those demons wanting me to stay in bed and take the easy road. Some days in the gym I have frustration and anger when I can’t do an exercise or lift what I want or thought I could do... That's my ego, they’re my demons holding me back. I am saying this because I have since developed more belief in myself that I can do anything and it has started by going back to the gym… When I know I can lift that weight and do that exercise then I can do anything in every other facet of my life.. It was those emotions, those demons and that version of myself that was holding me back in the gym. If I can do it and face this, so can you! So what are you waiting for?


Ponder this yourself? What version of you is holding you back? Perhaps it's younger? Invite that version of yourself in and face it. Tell that version of you what it wanted to hear back then, show it some love and cry it out… Feel it, let those emotions go and become one with it. If you need help with this process please feel free to reach out anytime. I have a free zoom consultation available and we can chat about exactly this or whatever you wish. I am always here for you.


Thank you for reading wherever in the world you are.


Nathan Francis: Youth Self - Sabotage Coach/Mentor.


Check out my ‘Breaking Free’ Mentoring program for youth and adults here: https://www.teenageselfsabotage.com/services



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