There is a beautiful song by Savage Garden called ‘affirmation.’
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uaee65gg7bU&list=PLTkWY4prPUdVis8dGY4-ODrjz0A73rj2t) Within ‘Affirmation’ there is a lyric and I quote “I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness..’ This could not be anymore true, as you will read on you will begin to develop an understanding of my path towards forgiveness and how it has shaped who I am over the past few weeks.. You may even develop an understanding to begin your path to forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not just about forgiving the other person who did harm to you or said something or whatever arose.. Forgiveness is so much deeper than that. Furthermore, forgiveness is also going deep within yourself and forgiving yourself for allowing certain situations or things to happen to you. It is quite the ordeal allowing forgiveness in, you may not be ready to forgive someone or something, perhaps you still hold on to some hate, resentment, anger, frustration, rage or whatever negative feeling/emotion. However, if you are willing and able to let all of those feelings go it is a massive weight off of your shoulders that you are not carrying around anymore. You may often find yourself crying it out, punching it out or whatever way is organic and real to you… Those emotions need to be felt and released.. You will feel so much better for it, trust me.
For me, the forgiveness path was not an easy one. I had many things that I needed to forgive myself for amongst many people as well. I held onto a lot of hate, resentment, anger, grief, frustration and so on… My perspective of myself and those around me was a negative, hurtful one… However, once I unpacked these feelings, and shifted my perspective of first myself and then others I was able to see myself and others in a whole new light. I only felt this negative way because I understood that I felt this way about myself and for things I had done in my life. I held on to a lot of things I did, such as sabotaging prospering relationships with women, speaking to people rudely, drinking, sometimes doing drugs, watching porn, and having all of this anger and frustration deep inside… This slowly began to eat away at me… I learnt that if I was able to forgive myself for allowing certain things to happen in my life I was able to view those things as lessons and a growth opportunity. During this process I wrote letters to people who I cared about that I hurt deeply. Some letters I sent and some I burnt. These people were in my life for a very long time and I felt I had estranged and disconnected myself from them over the past few years...I realised that I wasn’t a good friend, a good son, a good brother and a good person for a very long time. I forgave them and forgave myself for the way I was. I faced this version of myself, thanked it, loved it, and forgave it. The feeling inside that I can better, I can be worthy, I can be enough, I can be anything I want was beyond words. Although, some people still do not quite understand who I am now that is okay.. In time that may change it may not. I am who I am and I love it.
After all of this shedding, shifting, releasing and forgiving the most beautiful moment was being able to forgive myself for everything I had done in my life such as, the son I was, the brother I was, the person I was, the friend I was and the partner I was.. Upon that realisation I was able to repair the fractured relationship with my Mother which meant the absolute world to me. We had been very disconnected for a long time. To view my Mother as a loving and caring soul and not in a negative way was a beautiful thing. This lifted so much off my shoulders emotionally and Mums too. Even when someone has done the darkest of dark things we are able to forgive and I believe that whole heartedly now having gone through this process myself. The videos at the bottom of this blog delve into some dark things that people have learnt forgiveness and have come out the other side bigger and better for it… Take a watch.
Lastly, observe the world today, we do not need anymore of this negative hurtful energy amongst our planet today, there is already so much hate, anger and angst in the world… In simple terms, that is the darkness that currently exists here. We have the power to rid the world of evil, it is quite simple we must release our darkness from within to bring about change in the world. ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world.’ Wherever in the world you are, I see you, I hear you,reach out to me anytime.. I may just provide you that spark to forgive or who knows, maybe start your healing journey. It truly is the most amazing journey you can embark on. Good luck and thank you for reading.
Nathan Francis - Youth Self Sabotage Coach
Videos To Watch:
Why you should forgive people who have hurt you - Vishen Lakhianihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7fIaCA3Qr4 Forgiving the unforgivablehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE7TaUG3qQI Why Forgiveness is Unnecessary Why Forgiveness is Unnecessary | Carmelle Kemp | TEDxBearCreekPark - YouTube The Forgiveness Project - Mary Johnston's Storyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJDqceiwR2U The Power of Forgiveness -Dolph LungrenDolph Lundgren | On healing and forgiveness | TEDxFulbrightSantaMonica - YouTube The Power of Forgiveness – (ANGER, HATE, PRISONS to FORGIVENESS)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOzJO6HRIuA